A woman of today is powerful and in charge. In some relationships, the woman is the main leader.
A female-led relationship or FLR is a type of relationship where the girl is in charge and is the dominant partner. The man is put into the position of a traditional woman, submissive in behavior.
We’ll dive into the reasoning behind this type of relationship, how it works, the characteristics, and the pros and cons of being in an FLR.
Female-Led Relationship Types
Female Control 1- Lowest Level
Many types of relationships can claim they are controlled at a low level by a female. Most females don’t just sit back and let the male rule the roost in any partnership. In this type of FLR, the female often makes decisions alongside the man. The male often allows the female to take charge in certain scenarios. She may also still ask him for permission at times about certain decisions.
Female Control 2- Moderate Level
Level 2 at a moderate level is about a female leading without being too powerful. She boosts her own confidence levels with her power and helps the partnership feel more positive. The man often enjoys this power from the female. The woman usually sets her own boundaries allowing the man to make some of the decisions. Neither person holds too much of the power.
Female Control 3- Defined Control
Level 3 of a female-led relationship is where the female usually makes most of the decisions in the partnership. She takes on many of the male roles. She is able to be dominant in most areas. The male still makes some decisions, but he usually is able to sit back and let her take the wheel.
Female Control 4- Extreme Control
Extreme control is where the woman is in total control of the relationship. In this role, the man is submissive to the woman. The woman in this type of relationship control loves to hold all of the power.
Women Seeking A Female-Led Relationship
Many women seek a female-led relationship because they want to hold all the power. Many women love to control everything from what you eat to dinner to how you spend your money.
Women also like to mold their partner into what she thinks he should be. She finds a partner that meets all of her needs instead of trying to change for a man.
She finds there is peace and less stress when there isn’t a power struggle. Of course, she has to find a man that is willing to let her lead in an FLR.
This man doesn’t mind being in the passenger seat. He doesn’t mind domination. He likes that she takes care of things so he can do things that he enjoys as well.
Men Seeking A Female-Led Relationship
It’s tough for some men to break tradition. Some men think like their great grandfathers. Other men seek out the FLR. They give control to the woman without a second thought.
The man doesn’t need to worry about the tough decisions. He doesn’t have to worry about the responsibility that sits on the shoulders of the person that controls the relationship.
He enjoys the peace and quiet of life without a power struggle.
Many men love being in an FLR so they can focus on other things that matter a lot to them like their career or future.
Female-Led Relationship Rules
As we stated, there is no official rulebook of relationships. However, if you’re going to be in an FLR relationship, there are a few guidelines to follow.
- The man trusts the woman to make the financial decisions for the household. He trusts her to find the best prices for the utilities and other things for the home.
- The woman will help push the man to rid of his bad habits. If he’s going out too much or drinking too much, she is authoritative towards his behaviors.
- The woman makes almost all of the decisions regarding the household. The man will share his opinion, but she will decide if it’s valuable at that time.
- The male will do most of the household chores.
- The female will make decisions when it comes to social events or parties.
We’ve told you many of the pros for the men and the women in an FLR. Of course, there will be drawbacks to any type of relationship.
Some people have a strict social stigma about their own view of society. They may pressure you to explain why an FLR is perfect for you. It can weigh on a relationship.
Sometimes the male may feel afraid to express his own opinions out of fear the woman may leave him.
The female may make bad decisions. This can happen in any relationship if you don’t work together to come to conclusions.
Tackling These Drawbacks
Every type of relationship has challenges. This type of relationship is about balance, just like any other relationship. If one person is in total control without speaking to the other, it can become an issue. If one type of FLR isn’t right for you, you can try another level of FLR. You don’t have to be one extreme or the other. You can shoot for a Type 2 or Type 3 to ensure stability. The woman can still be in control without being a Type 1 or Type 4.
The Basics of A Female Led Relationship
There are things to remember when you are in a female-led relationship. There’s a delicate balance between being abusive and being in control. It’s important to keep each other accountable in the relationship. We’ll go over some of these basics of an FLR.
Creating A Balance
There is usually a healthy level of balance in a female-led relationship. The male should be encouraged to contribute as much as possible, but not take over her power. The number one rule in creating balance is to always respect each other. If there is no mutual respect, any relationship will fail. If the balance feels off in this relationship, talk it out. Communication is a healthy part of a balanced relationship.
You Make The Rules
It’s important that you work together to go at your own pace creating your own rules of your own FLR. It’s a lot of fun for the powerful female to show off her power during the dating phase of the relationship. She gets to choose the dates. She gets to flex her dating muscles and shower love on the man. You can choose the pace of deciding when to move to the next phase of dating together.
If your FLR lifestyle is going to grow, you have to talk. An FLR means talking a lot more. The lines of communication need to be open at all times. You have to talk a lot about boundaries and decisions.
You Go For It
It’s nice at times to hold the reigns of power in your hands. Instead of waiting for a man to make the decisions for the relationship, the woman steps up instead of waiting. She never wonders where she stands in the relationship. Many Type A women love this kind of power. They are used to be successful and in charge of all areas of life. It takes a lot of power to be at the top of the mountain. It’s time to go for it if you think you have what it takes to be in an FLR.
Putting Your Profession First
Many men happy in a female led relationship want the woman to take the reigns professionally and reach all of her goals. This does not mean the man doesn’t strive for success in his own business. It simply means he will do what is needed to put her profession before his. If she gets a promotion in another city, they will move to the new location.
Building On Your Strengths
Traditionally women weren’t “supposed” to take the lead even if they were successful in their own profession. They were to sit back and look pretty while the man took the reigns. In an FLR, the woman stands up for the fact she’s great at making decisions. She’s able to show off and build her own strengths without guilt. She never waits for the man to figure his own professional life out. She knows her path, and she isn’t afraid to take it.
Let The Man’s Vulnerability Show
The male in an FLR is urged to show his emotions and feelings with an open heart. The male isn’t afraid he might seem weak if he shares his insecurities. He’s actually on his way to better mental health this way. He’s a better emotional partner for the usual Type A woman.
The male in an FLR can be open about his feelings and emotions. If he is not afraid of looking “weak” and sharing his fears and insecurities, he will have better mental health. This will surely make him a more emotionally stable partner.
There are some tough parts of defining the FLR. We’ll dive into some of the harder parts of the female led relationship.
Hard To Find
It’s almost impossible to throw it out there in the dating world that you want a man that is submissive. Many men are traditional and aren’t ready to take a backseat. Dating is sometimes a numbers game. If you wipe out half of the available men with your requirements, your dating pool is much smaller. Sometimes it’s quality over quantity, so it might not even matter.
A Thin Line Between Abuse And Power
Your man might be the nicest guy on the planet. This doesn’t give any type of woman in any relationship the right to abuse that relationship. The man should always strive to have a say in some manners.
You Can’t Turn Back
If you want to be in an FLR, it’s tough to change things once you get the ball rolling in your relationship. You cannot usually say in the middle of the relationship that you don’t want to make decisions anymore. If you want to stay home and take care of the kids, you cannot suddenly tell the man one day that he needs to pick a bigger career path. The female should be respectful to the male and walk alongside him on this journey instead of trying to backtrack at some point.
It’s Not Your Way Or No Way
It might sound amazing to make all of the decisions, but there are some things that you have to figure out together. You cannot be in charge of every little thing. Talk about the financial responsibility of the household. Talk about what each person brings professionally to the relationship. Decide if and when you’ll talk in person about the decisions behind your type of relationship. You may need to talk about swapping gender roles when children enter your lives. Your FLR is not traditional, meaning you need to communicate at a higher level. You’ll have a strong relationship foundation because of your communication level.
The Beta Male
Alpha males are not usually attracted to the woman in charge. You may see it on some Hallmark movies, but it’s not likely that two alpha personalities go together perfectly. These types of men usually like to hold the power. The beta male is usually a little more chill and open to giving up some of the power. There is nothing wrong with either type of male. The Beta male is often loving, supportive, and cool with losing a little power. Many alpha males thrive on the high stress of being in charge.
How Do You Begin An FLR?
Many confident, successful women want to start an FLR, but don’t want to seem “mean.” Society often calls these women witches (or a rhyming variant) when they’re really just showing off their assertive side. If you want to be in a female led relationship, you have to be open about it. You probably won’t be with your professional match. This means you both probably won’t be “sharks” in the professional world. You have to find the person that is compatible with you and be honest about your relationship goals.
Highlight Your Dominance
Before you get into an FLR, it’s important you make sure to put yourself out there in an honest way. If you’re on a dating app, make sure your profile explains the type of man you want to attract.
If you want to be in a female led relationship, start by highlighting your dominant qualities. This doesn’t mean you have to say, “Hi, I want to be in an FLR.” This means you state things like this:
- “I am serious about reaching my professional goals.”
- “I have achieved financial success in many ways.”
- “I want a vulnerable man that loves to support his woman.”
- “I love a shy man.”
You don’t ever have to seem negative. You don’t need to complain about the traditional roles of society. This is about outlining the type of partnership you are looking for in your life. You will only waste your time if you don’t explain that you’re a proud female in charge of all areas of her life. You cannot waste your time on men that don’t respect that.
Traditional Masculine Qualities
Being in an FLR often means bringing traditional male qualities to the table. It’s about channeling that masculine energy without being too overbearing. It doesn’t mean you aren’t feminine.
It simply means the traditional qualities are a little different. Some of these qualities include: taking action quickly, being assertive, striving to get your way, being vocal, feeling the need to provide, and/or making quick decisions.
Can A Female In Charge Really Work?
A female in charge of a relationship isn’t going to hurt anything. Women have worked hard to be who they are today. They are successful and confident in their choices. They know how to take control. They even know how to be single without fear. They love men, but don’t need them. If you can find a man that is willing to work with you in this type of relationship, you can make it work.
What If An FLR Doesn’t Fit My Needs For A Relationship?
A FLR isn’t for everyone. There are many different types of relationships in the world. There is no rule book that says you need to be any certain type. If you aren’t interested in being the woman in charge, that is fine.
You can find confidence and success while being the submissive one in the relationship. You can find someone that complements the type of relationship that you enjoy being in.
Open your mind to exploring different types of relationships. You’ll figure out what works best for you. Follow your heart to happiness.