It’s so hard to hear that someone doesn’t want you because they think you deserve better.
They’re trying to be nice and maybe even kind, but it still feels like a slap in the face.
How do you respond when told you deserve someone better as reason for breaking up?
What Do They Mean by You Deserve Better?
When your significant other tells you that you deserve better, what they are really saying is they want out of the relationship and want to let you down easy.
They don’t want to hurt your feelings or be cruel, so they try making it a compliment. Very rarely, it could mean they’re telling the truth and think that you are better than them.
How to Respond
It’s not always easy to respond calmly when someone says you deserve better, but it is the way to go. Remain calm and collected so you are not seen as emotional.
The most important thing to remember is that your ex-partner has already rejected you in their own way, so it’s not like anything will really change if you get mad or sad about what they said.
After you have calmed yourself, your response should be this: “I understand. Thank you for your honesty.” Even if you believe your ex is not worthy of you, it’s best to remain respectful towards them.
Why This Response Works
This response will make your ex feel guilty about hurting you and also show them that you are not a pushover.
If they really think their reasons for breaking up with you were justified, then this might be the last step in making sure they don’t come crawling back to ask for another chance. If it’s just an easy way out, then they’ll be relieved to hear you’re taking it well and will move on.
How Not to Respond
Do not say anything that can come across as you’re begging for them to come back.
Don’t be angry or show any emotion other than sadness and respect. Do not ask why they really want to break up with because it will just make the situation worse, but do try your best to talk about what went wrong in hopes of making sense out of the situation.
Do not say you’ll be better off without them because this could come across as threatening and it will also show that they have a point in breaking up with you.
Don’t make promises to change if the breakup is happening for the wrong reasons, but do promise to think about what went wrong and why your ex-partner might have felt so inclined to break up with you.
If they are breaking up with you for the wrong reasons, then there is absolutely nothing you can do about it because their mind has been made up already and all your promises will be fruitless. It’s not worth trying to convince them if they’ve actually decided that this is what they want.
Accept that the relationship is over and move on with your life. It’s not easy, but it will get easier over time the more you try to move forward and focus on making yourself happy.
Don’t allow them to still take up space in your head because this is ultimately what they want – for you to feel miserable and miss them as if there was never anything wrong at all.
Do not let them have that power over you. Put your energy into yourself and try to be the best version of you, because after all, they said it themselves – You Deserve Better!